I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
