we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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