True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Randomize
