I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
