please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
