Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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