His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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