weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
