You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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