Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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