Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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