Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize