i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
