Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize