Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
