The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
