We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
