Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this beer tastes like vomit already
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
