You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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