he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
