I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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