Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
