Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
