He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
