I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Text me some of your sweat
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
