Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
