Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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