come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
