get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
