There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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