I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
