i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
