It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
