She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
