i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
