I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
