Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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