im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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