id be glad to
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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