Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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