Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize