If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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