so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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