Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
