I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
