people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
