Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
