i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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