I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize