If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
