your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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