Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
