Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
