So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
