yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
