i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
