woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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