Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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