My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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