I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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