i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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