I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
