she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
