I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
